I vow to find the evil doer, or doers

I'm just as upset about this as you are. Maybe even more. I promise you, we're going to find whoever did this and see to it that they are punished. This kind of behavior is very inappropriate. It's an assault on the very fabric of civilization. I suspect a cat was involved.

The hidden keyboard

I hide other things besides bones and chews. For example, I've concealed a piano under the snow, and when I need a break from pondering the nature of dog, or epistemology, or metaphysics, I brush off the keys with my tail and play some of my repertoire. I'm particularly fond of Rachmaninoff, whose works I play with a maximum of dramatic expression.